There is nothing like Living Life King Size if you are a thin, bespectacled, straight speaking, shy guy with a face that looks like Tom Hanks in Cast Away on the lonely island, while showing the happiest of emotions. You can only live it life size or better put your size (well, being an engineer pays in writing mathematically correct statements like this – but the flip side is, you would not know whether it is relevant or not to make such statement in a given context). But as the old saying goes, “Every actor will have his soap”, you can change the size of your life if either you are a well paid professional with no work or if you have your book published (I don’t know if my life size changed or not but people say it did after these two things, and I like it. So I think it must have changed).
It all happened when I was in a meeting with my team about the action plan for the Transition paradigm for project nomenclature (ok, I accept that I am exaggerating – it was just a meeting to change the name of our project as our database would not take such a long name). I got a chance to speak to my content to these people who have no other work. I lectured on for over two hours about how the people that we come across change our life and life sizes. Well, it is a different matter that only those with a tight bladder could stay awake. But it is true that people do influence us – in doing and not doing certain things, or at least fantasizing or not about certain things.
The BATMAN Chronicles
One rainy day in Pune – The Introduction
It was really cool day in Pune in the month of July. The weather is chilling and to add to that it was raining. I was coming back from office in the evening and at 6 o’clock and the light was quickly fading.
“Oh shit! Oh Shit! Man. I forgot my rain coat Man. But I think a man should be man enough to manage without it man! Anyway I think I don’t need to think about it for this drizzle man”. If it is the number of MANs in the comment that caught my attention, it was the heavy downpour being referred as drizzle that held it. It was the beginning of my acquaintance with a lazy, intelligent (well he thinks so), ‘don’t care can do anything’ man. He was coming with me that day as his car broke down. Expecting him to go back and fetch his raincoat I stopped – I thought he might be feeling embarrassed to make me wait as we met just few minutes back.(I came to know later that is a feeling that is nonexistent as far as he is concerned). But he continued on his way, without showing the slightest of inclination of going back. So I followed him. Just as we were going into the parking space – he searched his pockets for something anxiously. Going by his action I thought he must be searching for his Mobile which he gave me to keep in pocket as I was wearing a Raincoat. But before I could say anything, “Oh shit! Oh shit Man! I forgot it man, just wait for me till I come”, said he, running towards the stairs.
After waiting for some time, I thought I better go back and check what is happening. Just as I was about to go up the stairs, I saw him coming down the stairs maintaining two feet distance behind a good looking girl, of course ogling. At that moment I realized that it was not the feeling of embarrassment that stopped him from getting the rain coat but his laziness. He came out wearing his raincoat, holding the bag between his legs, in an awkward gait. There he stood for a second before entering the open area, took out from his pocket and making a weird movement of his hands wore his goggles (he later called it his style of wearing). Brown in colour, stylishly designed side legs, and dark brown colored. If I was worrying about anything apart from the wild rain, about riding a bike, it was the light. The way in which we have to go was poorly lit and was full of pits and especially in that rain you can’t even see normally even if the light is good, and here with me was a man who is not worried about wearing a rain coat but makes it a point to wear goggles before he makes an appearance in public space outside of office. I could not help but recollect the cartoon crime fighter, but in a round shape, bald head and thick bow like moustache. I tried hard to hide my feelings and keep a serious face but as if reading my mind this Mr. Batman replied “I wear goggles MAN, for protection from glare of opposite vehicles MAN!”
Embarrassed by the look on people’s faces watching us, I could muster my senses only to say “Ok!” before we moved on.
Bindu the Offender
Batman becomes restless even if there is petite delay in completion of his work, and being a connoisseur of food (again a term he uses for himself, though you may feel forced to use the word glutton, once you see him eat) he does not like any delay in serving his meal.
Mr. Bindu, though a Punjabi has a south Indian name and that too a feminine one. He says that a famous Malayali cook used to cook for their family, and his father is so impressed by her cooking that he named his only child after her. This talkative Mr. Bindu does not miss a chance to talk about how good his preparations are although the people that eat never want to agree with him. He also has a fascination towards trekking and tells about his exciting trekking adventures that sure amuse people thanks to his great narrative abilities, though nobody knows the reality about them.
Though the food served in Mr. Bindu’s canteen is not good, it is certainly cheaper than that served in any other canteen. Also it is a non-vegetarian’s paradise, as very often people find an occasional chicken saying hello to them in their pure vegetarian pulav. Being a hardcore non-veggie, Mr. Batman likes this canteen especially for this reason.
Batman is a careful spender, (he doesn’t like people, who call him a miser), and so he ensures that he always buys some vegetable food, which has high probability of non-vegetarian mix in it, as it is cheaper than the menu-card-non-veg. There are gossips that he has a comprehensive list of items that will have non-veg mix, at a given time of day. (Later I came to know that he indeed has such list and keeps on revising it taking input from others who eat there). Mr. Bindu, though is talkative is not as witty as Batty. So Batty always pulls his legs whenever he finds an opportunity and Bindu is waiting for his chance to come. He also thinks that Batman has made plans to get free non-veg from his canteen and that is why he comes to his canteen for every meals/coffee break. This he feels is the reason why Batman is able to maintain his figure (42 – 42 – 42), though he buys only veg items with lowest possible price tag that are usually not enough for daily survival.
Bindu has had enough of him when Batty announced with his group that he got three big chicken legs in his vegetable salad that day. He thought he would not let it happen again. But he knows how unorganized and careless his cooks are. Also he does not want to spoil the relations with Batman, to maintain his good image in public. (He knows very well what Batman can do to his reputation if he fights with him). So he thought he would stop him from coming to the canteen itself. He ordered the waiters, servers everyone to delay whatever Batty ordered, and inspect them thoroughly before serving it to him.
It sure changed the events. Batman was surprised to find his probability statistics turning out wrong these days and he was really worried coz it has been 3 days and 2 hours since he had eaten any flesh. So he took his time off and went to the canteen with determined mindset to find out the real reason for this. He ordered Bumpy-Chummy-Veg Delight as it was 4:15PM and it had the highest probability of having non-veg in it, about 63.4%, greater than any other dish served at that time. He cross-checked from his pocket reference about the probability again and smirked at Bindu, which Bindu returned with a mix of triumphant feeling in it.
Batty gave the order and sat down in a chair observing what was happening in the kitchen. He got a glimpse of the prepared item coming out of kitchen. He sat down satisfied. But then he found that instead of serving the food to him the waiter took it to Mr. Bindu, who was checking it for non-veg pieces. Now he understood why his estimations were going wayward. He stood up, went to the counter, while Bindu made futile efforts to hide the plate from him – pretending as if he has not noticed it, Batman pulled out a packet of expensive Swiss chocolates and said, “I have ordered for a Bumpy-Chummy-Veg Delight and I haven’t received my order till now. So I am taking this chocolate pack. If you don’t get my order in ten more minutes then I will take one more of these packets”. As Mr. Bindu was watching him in open mouthed awe Batman walked away with the pack without paying single buck for it. He shared the chocolates with us announcing them as the tokens of his victory (for first time in my association I saw him share something – I hate to say that it was also the last time). Bindu was speechless at this counter attack. But could do nothing as he cannot disclose what he was doing. It was a sweet revenge for Batty, as well as for others like me, who do not have guts to challenge the bulky, bullish Bindu.
Well this incident certainly stopped Bindu from inspecting the food being served to Batty, but not Batty snatching a packet or two of costliest snacks for free, not only when there is a bit of delay in service but also whenever he finds a non-veg piece in his dish. But for others like me – well we are content with the chocolate Batty shared with us on his first victory.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Even Bill Gates doesn’t know this…
It all started when I read the posting titled “Even Bill Gates doesn’t know this…” in a common discussion forum. It was the umpteenth time that I read the same old content of what =Rand(1,254) function does in a word document. I felt rather disgruntled at the juvenile content of the posting, more so when many of the replies were showing surprise at the so called ignorance of Mr. Gates. I was surprised that not many are thinking about why Bill Gates should know this in the first place. After all he has not coded a single line for MS Office or any product of MS in today’s market (At least ever since his makeover as a “Geek Genius” by Pam Edstrom, PR Chief of Bill Gates). In fact the advent of Windows itself, let alone Office, was very lucky and unknown for a long time to William H. Gates, while it was being developed, for he was busy managing the affairs of Microsoft by that time. (For more details you can read: Barbarians Led by Bill Gates - Marlin Eller, Pam Edstrom)
Leaving aside the bugs in Office codes and Bill Gates, one must appreciate the programming skills of the originator of this mail. He is so skillful in programming the mindset of the readers that he influences what is called the emotional reaction so successfully. Myth and Mystery have impressed people over a very long time and on most occasions we are habituated to use the emotional intelligence over rational thinking. It is emotionally satisfying to know a bug in a famous and almost foolproof application (at least for the non-developer users) and it’s more thrilling if it’s a secret mystic bug that even the ‘Original Geek’ doesn’t know. We don’t even care to think if it’s possible for our senior manager, let alone the Chairperson, to know a possible bug in the code that we write for our project, but we will be happy to proclaim the unawareness of Mr. Gates. I really doubt it if a programmer himself would remember a bug that he himself has solved.
This very behavior is the root for the world economics and stock markets – the logical versus the intuitionists. While the professionals use rational analysis, most of the small investors invest emotionally (read - what their heart or hunch says) and lose more money than they gain. Rather than analyzing the ROI, Market Cap and Area of operations etc., the emotional thinkers buy when the market is going up and sell when it’s coming down based on some advice from a so called friend/colleague, all this while not really understanding why it’s happening or where it’s going. The best thing for a small scale investor could be choosing some real performers that have a management with strong ethical values, potential for future growth, and find out the price at which it would be a good buy and try to buy it at a margin of that threshold. I know I am being too impractical by trying to predict a definite outcome of a STOCK INVESTMENT, but frankly stocks are for long term players and if you want short term gains in real life that too consistently and that too above 7%, go play Don Corleone.
The point that I am trying to make is that the thinking pattern is what that differentiates the judgment/reaction, given a similar situation to two persons. While one pattern need not necessarily be superior to other, it makes sense and adds a lot of value to adapt to rational thinking more often than not. The raising emotion may tempt me to watch Brazil vs. France but it would not help me finish this article any better. But again I may not stop cheering up for my favorite team even when they are on the verge of a defeat, for I know miracles do happen. However, in case of complex situations especially involving work or business I better put my emotions at bay and use my head instead. The bandwidth, time and energy that would have been saved for better things simply overweigh what the satisfaction of bulk mailing these bugs would give me.
Now, I am not an avid supporter of rational thinking to the extent of being stone cold. One has to use his brain to reason out the ways and his heart to decide which way, for not all things in life happen according to reason. If so there would not have been the words ‘Love’ & ‘Humanity’ in the dictionary!
Leaving aside the bugs in Office codes and Bill Gates, one must appreciate the programming skills of the originator of this mail. He is so skillful in programming the mindset of the readers that he influences what is called the emotional reaction so successfully. Myth and Mystery have impressed people over a very long time and on most occasions we are habituated to use the emotional intelligence over rational thinking. It is emotionally satisfying to know a bug in a famous and almost foolproof application (at least for the non-developer users) and it’s more thrilling if it’s a secret mystic bug that even the ‘Original Geek’ doesn’t know. We don’t even care to think if it’s possible for our senior manager, let alone the Chairperson, to know a possible bug in the code that we write for our project, but we will be happy to proclaim the unawareness of Mr. Gates. I really doubt it if a programmer himself would remember a bug that he himself has solved.
This very behavior is the root for the world economics and stock markets – the logical versus the intuitionists. While the professionals use rational analysis, most of the small investors invest emotionally (read - what their heart or hunch says) and lose more money than they gain. Rather than analyzing the ROI, Market Cap and Area of operations etc., the emotional thinkers buy when the market is going up and sell when it’s coming down based on some advice from a so called friend/colleague, all this while not really understanding why it’s happening or where it’s going. The best thing for a small scale investor could be choosing some real performers that have a management with strong ethical values, potential for future growth, and find out the price at which it would be a good buy and try to buy it at a margin of that threshold. I know I am being too impractical by trying to predict a definite outcome of a STOCK INVESTMENT, but frankly stocks are for long term players and if you want short term gains in real life that too consistently and that too above 7%, go play Don Corleone.
The point that I am trying to make is that the thinking pattern is what that differentiates the judgment/reaction, given a similar situation to two persons. While one pattern need not necessarily be superior to other, it makes sense and adds a lot of value to adapt to rational thinking more often than not. The raising emotion may tempt me to watch Brazil vs. France but it would not help me finish this article any better. But again I may not stop cheering up for my favorite team even when they are on the verge of a defeat, for I know miracles do happen. However, in case of complex situations especially involving work or business I better put my emotions at bay and use my head instead. The bandwidth, time and energy that would have been saved for better things simply overweigh what the satisfaction of bulk mailing these bugs would give me.
Now, I am not an avid supporter of rational thinking to the extent of being stone cold. One has to use his brain to reason out the ways and his heart to decide which way, for not all things in life happen according to reason. If so there would not have been the words ‘Love’ & ‘Humanity’ in the dictionary!
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Credit Card Saga
I have just put the phone receiver down. I have just spoken to the so called "EXECUTIVE" from XXXXXX Bank who are going to offer me free card for life time. These executives dont have courtesy to even ask for time, or if the person is inerested in such stuff. Well thats how it is out there except for few exceptions.
Let me tell you of a funny incident that happened with me when I applied for a XXX credit card - One day I received a call from a "Geeta" asking me if I am interested in a life time free credit card from their "esteemed" bank. I have heard of incidents where this esteemed bank had levied charges on people who has not even applied for their card but still received it in courier and rejected it then and there right out. So I said I would need time to think if I really need one.
I thought I would take this new card - after all its free for life and is a GOLD card. So when a lady called me the other day about this CCard, I told her that I am interested in it and would take it but since I have already committed to extend my generosity to "Geeta" I asked her name: "Are you Geeta who called me the other day?"
"Yes Sir. I am Geeta. I would send a representative now. Please dont go even if someone calls you for the application, I will give you a call when he comes to your office. Otherwise I would not get the commission."
"Okay Geeta! I will wait for your call"...
"Thanks Sir! Have a Gud day"
"You too... Click!!"
"Click!!..."
I got another call from her and she informed me that the Rep has come and I can give him the application. I did so and got back to my seat.
Interestingly, that evening I got another call from "Geeta" again!!! She asked me if I made up my mind about the CCard. I told her that I already submitted the App as per her call. She was shocked and asked me why I didnot bother for her.. (Well well! I didn't know I was supposed to learn the art of recoginizing people by their voice that too through telephone) I told her that I asked for the name of the caller and she confirmed that she was Geeta.
She said, "Who would not say he is so and so if asked for like that?Its a cut-throat market Sir! CLick!!..." (remember I asked "Are you Geeta?")
mmm well so....
The irony is that I never got that CCard. So I can still help the original "Geeta" by applying again. :)
Let me tell you of a funny incident that happened with me when I applied for a XXX credit card - One day I received a call from a "Geeta" asking me if I am interested in a life time free credit card from their "esteemed" bank. I have heard of incidents where this esteemed bank had levied charges on people who has not even applied for their card but still received it in courier and rejected it then and there right out. So I said I would need time to think if I really need one.
I thought I would take this new card - after all its free for life and is a GOLD card. So when a lady called me the other day about this CCard, I told her that I am interested in it and would take it but since I have already committed to extend my generosity to "Geeta" I asked her name: "Are you Geeta who called me the other day?"
"Yes Sir. I am Geeta. I would send a representative now. Please dont go even if someone calls you for the application, I will give you a call when he comes to your office. Otherwise I would not get the commission."
"Okay Geeta! I will wait for your call"...
"Thanks Sir! Have a Gud day"
"You too... Click!!"
"Click!!..."
I got another call from her and she informed me that the Rep has come and I can give him the application. I did so and got back to my seat.
Interestingly, that evening I got another call from "Geeta" again!!! She asked me if I made up my mind about the CCard. I told her that I already submitted the App as per her call. She was shocked and asked me why I didnot bother for her.. (Well well! I didn't know I was supposed to learn the art of recoginizing people by their voice that too through telephone) I told her that I asked for the name of the caller and she confirmed that she was Geeta.
She said, "Who would not say he is so and so if asked for like that?Its a cut-throat market Sir! CLick!!..." (remember I asked "Are you Geeta?")
mmm well so....
The irony is that I never got that CCard. So I can still help the original "Geeta" by applying again. :)
Friday, January 20, 2006
My Kalachakra Visit
Umh!! Had a busy day today. Actually, these two days have been very busy - loads of work for the project delivery is nearing. I have been building an application for a very popular retail store chain in USA as a part of my work. I think it will be violation of confidentiality rules in case I name the client or the company that I work for - after all this is my personal blog and I dont want to distract all those searchers who may search for these firms.
I have changed my blog site name today. I think it should reflect what I really am rather than what I want to be - also the name "SearchWhat" may attract more hits :)
Last week I went to the Kalachakra mahasabhas at Amaravathi - the biggest union of all Buddists that happens every 5 years. It was a very nice journey: let me describe the road for you......
The river krishna is a very important river in south India. It covers more fertile land under its belt than any other rivers. The road is along side the river coast, following the twists and curves of the river. It is on a raised ground and the view gives a nice picture of river coast and the Banana plantation along the coast. The other side of river is also on lower grounds and this time its the corn fields that grab your eyes. Endless rows of corn plants full of greenery filling the entire visible area this side. The fog that covered the rest of the view made it appear as if I am on a green Island floating among clouds when I look to the left and when I looked right it appeared as if I am on real island as the other end of the river was not visible due to the fog.
All in all I enjoyed the journey verymuch. But it was chaos when I reached Amaravathi. I didnt know what to expect and what to see there. We went to the area where Dalai Lama was giving his speech - but could not grasp it coz it was in Tibetan. We saw the 100 feet Buddha statue being built by the government of AndhraPradesh. We saw the huge gathering of monks. The fun was to watch the kids. They were new to the place and it being a village the transport and people were very different to what one gets to see in a city. Kid-Monks were runing around the roads pulling other monks dress hangings etc. and jumping on and off the Rickshaws driven by other people.
The Buddha stupa was another place that I visited; it was decorated with flowers and garlands. The monks offered innumerous glasses of water to the lord and kept those glasses around the stupa which was some 500meters in perimeter. The whole yard around was looking so colorful for there were cloth hangings of vivid bright colours all around hung on ropes tied to trees and poles there.
We finally visited the famous Amaranatha Swamy temple of lord shiva, bought the prasadam (food offered to god) and returned home.
I have changed my blog site name today. I think it should reflect what I really am rather than what I want to be - also the name "SearchWhat" may attract more hits :)
Last week I went to the Kalachakra mahasabhas at Amaravathi - the biggest union of all Buddists that happens every 5 years. It was a very nice journey: let me describe the road for you......
The river krishna is a very important river in south India. It covers more fertile land under its belt than any other rivers. The road is along side the river coast, following the twists and curves of the river. It is on a raised ground and the view gives a nice picture of river coast and the Banana plantation along the coast. The other side of river is also on lower grounds and this time its the corn fields that grab your eyes. Endless rows of corn plants full of greenery filling the entire visible area this side. The fog that covered the rest of the view made it appear as if I am on a green Island floating among clouds when I look to the left and when I looked right it appeared as if I am on real island as the other end of the river was not visible due to the fog.
All in all I enjoyed the journey verymuch. But it was chaos when I reached Amaravathi. I didnt know what to expect and what to see there. We went to the area where Dalai Lama was giving his speech - but could not grasp it coz it was in Tibetan. We saw the 100 feet Buddha statue being built by the government of AndhraPradesh. We saw the huge gathering of monks. The fun was to watch the kids. They were new to the place and it being a village the transport and people were very different to what one gets to see in a city. Kid-Monks were runing around the roads pulling other monks dress hangings etc. and jumping on and off the Rickshaws driven by other people.
The Buddha stupa was another place that I visited; it was decorated with flowers and garlands. The monks offered innumerous glasses of water to the lord and kept those glasses around the stupa which was some 500meters in perimeter. The whole yard around was looking so colorful for there were cloth hangings of vivid bright colours all around hung on ropes tied to trees and poles there.
We finally visited the famous Amaranatha Swamy temple of lord shiva, bought the prasadam (food offered to god) and returned home.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Waitlisted for ISB
mmm... It may seem that I am not a regular blogger. But I have been very busy offlate and could not do much of blogging.
Finally I am finished with my MBA applications etc. Thanks to TD Srinivasan, Sarath and Nagendra. They have been of great help in me finishing these off in time. I got an interview call from ISB - which I expected to happen much earlier but coz of some batch statistics etc. was delayed. The interview went well... but I think... I was not in a mood to take interview on that day.
I just wanted to convince them of what I am... I am a guy who takes things as such not judging them at all... I do make a lot of analysis but I dont judge anything... I strive to get data before I start something... But in an effort to do so I might have sounded a bit harsh.. guess it must be the reason I got waitlisted. But I believe I will be able to make it in the end....
Something in me told me that I may be waitlisted when I was about to open the mail and it was what happened. Now the same thing tells me that it will be a fruitful wait:) so I hope it happens in accordance with that "something" this time also.
I got many wierd ideas after getting waitlisted. of writing GMAT - my GMAT was less at 670 but in a mood to make it in the first round itself I applied. Also my project manager told me that I may have to go to Denmark..... Well nohing happened but I am glad that I applied by R1 deadline. I am thinking of writing NCFM certification.. you know I am very interested in Stock Market. I am really interested in shifting career to Finance....
But my experience tells me - you will love anything as long as it is not your work :) - so dont ask me why I am not into Finance when I come out of ISB........
But my friend Srikanth Sattiraju, a current student of ISB (He is such a nice fellow. He takes pain to reply to all my mails inspite of his tight schedule. My special thanks to him.) told me not to worry about any such thing and try and read something about the Micro Economics so I can be well prepared to face the grinding schedule. Gives me a lot of hope about the rosy future.
Well thats it for now.........
Thinking very seriously about what to do to get into the good books of the adcom of ISB now, I am signing off.
Finally I am finished with my MBA applications etc. Thanks to TD Srinivasan, Sarath and Nagendra. They have been of great help in me finishing these off in time. I got an interview call from ISB - which I expected to happen much earlier but coz of some batch statistics etc. was delayed. The interview went well... but I think... I was not in a mood to take interview on that day.
I just wanted to convince them of what I am... I am a guy who takes things as such not judging them at all... I do make a lot of analysis but I dont judge anything... I strive to get data before I start something... But in an effort to do so I might have sounded a bit harsh.. guess it must be the reason I got waitlisted. But I believe I will be able to make it in the end....
Something in me told me that I may be waitlisted when I was about to open the mail and it was what happened. Now the same thing tells me that it will be a fruitful wait:) so I hope it happens in accordance with that "something" this time also.
I got many wierd ideas after getting waitlisted. of writing GMAT - my GMAT was less at 670 but in a mood to make it in the first round itself I applied. Also my project manager told me that I may have to go to Denmark..... Well nohing happened but I am glad that I applied by R1 deadline. I am thinking of writing NCFM certification.. you know I am very interested in Stock Market. I am really interested in shifting career to Finance....
But my experience tells me - you will love anything as long as it is not your work :) - so dont ask me why I am not into Finance when I come out of ISB........
But my friend Srikanth Sattiraju, a current student of ISB (He is such a nice fellow. He takes pain to reply to all my mails inspite of his tight schedule. My special thanks to him.) told me not to worry about any such thing and try and read something about the Micro Economics so I can be well prepared to face the grinding schedule. Gives me a lot of hope about the rosy future.
Well thats it for now.........
Thinking very seriously about what to do to get into the good books of the adcom of ISB now, I am signing off.
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